Being Indian, Seeing Indian

They say, you can take a man out of India, but you can never take India out of a man. True and worth a million dollars.

Add to that, you even have the rest of the world trying to catch a piece of everything that is Indian - from restaurants to art-deco to jewelry to music and so on.

For many worldwide, India is the real home of spirituality, religion, tradition and the mysterious unknown - exotica abound.

It's been a year and a half since I left Indian soil, and it's been an interesting journey through many countries, cultures and lives of people. One of the most interesting aspects of this nomad life has been observing all the skewed, yet harmless and often rather cute western world interpretations of all that is Indian. I will touch upon some of the funnier ones.

The Kama Sutra
No, I don't possess a copy of the Kama Sutra and I dont keep it on my bed-side table. It is not part of my desk reference set.

The next line might seriously affect dating and mating prospects of some Indians worldwide; but I shall disclose the truth for the greater good. No, neither are we Indians taught the intricate details of the art in 8th grade, nor are we gifted the skills or talent for it from our mother's milk. Needless to say, the talent is not inborn.

Our population of over 1 billion is not the result of the Kama Sutra. As a matter of fact, most people in India have never read the Kama Sutra or even know of it's existence. Most of us back home know of 'Kama Sutra' as a brand of condoms.

Interestingly, the first time I saw the Kama Sutra, it wasn't in India, but neatly tucked away in the library of a Polish woman living in Stockholm.

Curry
The most misused, and over abused Indian export worldwide.

There is no single dish/recipe called 'Curry' or 'Indian Curry'. No magic spice that will give you the 'curry'.

One can make curries with anything, from any spice and with any meat or vegetables. For example, you can have a Chicken Curry, or a Lamb Curry or a Tomato Curry or a Coconut Curry or a Mixed Vegetable Curry or anything!

Coming back to there being no universal formula to the famed curry; there are thousands and thousands of curries, and all of them may taste completely different from each other. Similarly, if you taste the Chicken curry that my Mum makes, and then have the Chicken Curry that my neighbor makes - there is a high possibility that the curries will taste differently, though they may be equally delicious!

What curry essentially refers to is the gravy or the sauce in which the vegetables or meat are cooked. But, of course, they have to be different for every recipe!

That brings me to another interesting point: The difference between spicy and hot.

Very often, Indian cuisine is accused/complimented to being spicy or hot. This is where the confusion lies. Understand the difference here. Spice (cardamom, cinnamon, pepper, cumin, coriander, bay leaves, etc.) adds flavor and aroma, which make your taste buds go ecstatic, while hot or pungent refers to adding red/green chilies, etc., which make your taste buds go ballistic.

Therefore, Indian food can be spicy, but it isn't necessarily hot or pungent.

Concluding the point on Indian cuisine, a humble request to all non-Indians - please don't call Naan as Naan-Bread!!

I cringe when dining with non-Indians at Indian restaurants only to hear them ordering, "and 1 naan-bread, please". aaaaaaaaaaah!

It deeply hurts my irreversibly Indian culinary emotions for Naan to be called a piece of bread. There is Naan - and then there is bread. It can never be the same! Naan is not bread - it's a delicacy, it's a delight, it's anything and everything that a piece of bread can never be!

I know, I know - half of the people reading this will not be able to relate to my thoughts. But I am counting on fellow Indians around the world to share my angst!

Power Yoga!
A mutation between yoga and aerobics.

To me, the term itself is contradictory - the words 'Power' and 'Yoga' just don't seem suitable next to each other. Never seen, and never heard of in India.

Add to that, all the yoga positions are translated, eg. padmasana becomes 'lotus position'. :)

For more info, contact www.worldclass.se, Sweden's premier chain of health clubs.

Goa
The eternal tourist trap

If you want to go to India to go to Goa, you are wasting your time, money and the opportunity of a lifetime in exploring a magical land. If you are in Europe, you'd rather go to Ibiza or if you are in the US, go to Cancun or the Caribbean.

Goa is a fantastic place with loads of sun, beaches, trance parties, E popping clubs, fresh fish and a sea of foreigners.

But India is so much more.

Go to Dharmsala to see the Buddhist monasteries, to Rajasthan to enjoy the beautiful palaces, forts, and the colors, go to Kerala to experience the backwaters, go to Agra to be amazed by the Taj Mahal, go to Bombay to feel the pulse of the commercial capital of the country, go to Coorg to relax in the mountains watching coffee plantations, go to Amritsar to see the power of faith and the glimmer of the Golden Temple, the list is endless... and then maybe you'd want round it all up with a 4 day beach-bummer trip to Goa :)
For more info: www.IncredibleIndia.org

Arranged Marriage
"So, is there a bride waiting for you at home?"

And whenever I am asked this question, images of a decked up bride burdened with 5 kilos of gold jewelry waiting for me at the airport with a garland in her hands, usually flash in front of me.

Reality is, that probably, the only one waiting for me at the airport is the Customs Officer!

Though arranged marriages are still very much a reality in India, it is a downward trend. Many from our generation choose to choose their partners and this is well accepted.
The concept of arranged marriages itself is going through a change. No longer does the bride see her groom for the first time at the wedding itself.

Simply put, today's arranged marriages are a speculative match making exercise. After the girl and the boy are formally introduced by the parents, it moves on like a dating game, as how it would be in any other situation. This, until both decide that the other is marriage material.

Symbolic of changing times, if ever I asked my parents to find me a bride, they'd be seriously concerned about their son's mojo and his mental state of wellbeing!

For people still searching for Kama Sutra enlightenment, unfortunately, this is the last line of the posting. You may contact me in person.